Dear February, This is my MOJO

Yo. It’s February now. This is what happens in February:

1. My mom has a birthday on the same day as Michael Jordan (every year)
2. My daughter gets a crush on another adult actor just in time for Valentine’s Day
3. My son gets his first crush on a real life girl just in time for Valentine’s Day
4. My dog eats the Wii console
5. I Blog all Month

I don’t know where #3 or #4 came from. Neither of those things is true. I don’t have a dog (still, again, forever). And Logan is yet unaware of any girls beyond his two sisters of whom he is very, very much aware.

But Sam? Yeah, I just found this picture on my desk which she apparently printed last night. Who is this guy?

February Birthdays: Dear Mom, happy birthday in 16 days to you and Michael Jordan.

And Dear World, I think I just found my blog mojo again. YAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!! I’ll be here all month. Be sure to tip your waitress.

I think we should begin this BLOG MOJO with a huge announcement:

I AM PREGNANT!

No, I’m not. I just look it.

Trying again for a big announcement…

I’M MOVING TO BOSTON!

Just kidding. We already tried that one and it was anti-climactic.

Third time’s a charm?

I WON THE LOTTERY!

No I didn’t.

Unless, of course, we are talking about the “GET-FAT- WATCH-MOVIES- CLEAN-YOUR-HOUSE-BECAUSE-ALL-YOUR-PROJECTS-ARE-DONE-AND-YOU-DON’T-KNOW-WHAT-ELSE-TO-DO-LOTTERY!!”

I won that one!

I really wanted to make a huge announcement, but I don’t have anything to announce, so let’s move on.

This is my face yesterday:

This is my family room right now:

This is my car right now:

NOT.

This is my kitchen right now:

We need to talk about my house and all it’s pre-non-move updates. Stat.

And that is the whole point of this Friday, February 1st, 3:00 pm EST post that nobody will read for 3 reasons:

1. It’s Friday at 3:00 pm
2. Nobody reads my blog anymore?
3. The entire first half of this post was complete whack-o nonsense in the very best way

POINT: It’s time for me to produce a home tour for ya’ll! Look forward to that next week, okay? We did so much to the house when we thought we would sell it and now it is just so dang lovely and it’s time for me to show you. If you give a care.

We’ll start in the kitchen!

P.S.

Dare me to write three times a week in February. I dare you to dare me.

Love ya :-)

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