Un-dish Yourself
(How to De-Clutter Your Kitchen of Free Stuff and Rainbows)

“Free cups! Free cups! Come and get your free cups! Here, take a coffee mug. And a thermos. THIS IS FUN!

Now run along kids. Go tell your mommies to hide all this free, fun crap in her kitchen cabinets. Then call me in the morning. I’ve got some free lanyards and binders to throw atcha. Gosh golly, free is fun!!”{big grin, tear in the eye, sigh at the sunshine…}

That’s how it happens, huh? That’s how it started for me.

Let’s talk about something that I feel a wee bit passionate about. Something that actually ISN’T a mentally healthy thing to have strong feelings about. Something that you don’t need to understand my feelings on. This rant might possibly make you feel self-conscious. Sorry about that. But I gotta say what I gotta say.

Luckily for you, my thoughts are free and worth every penny you spend on them. Just like free cups.

We’ve done this whole, “Angie shares strong feelings about irrational topics and we all watch” thing before. With Handmade Stockings. And Party Favors.

Now? Dishes.

Come and Get your Free Dishes!

image source: http://devorepackaging.com/Kids-Fun-Cups-and-Meal-Buckets.php

We like to eat out. We do it more than we should. Even when we were in college for all of 10 years (or so) with a growing family, we ate out when we could at restaurants who were offering “kids eat free” and “kids don’t eat free, but come anyway” deals. One dark day (circa 2005) we were eating at Olive Garden when I looked down at our table and noticed the kids cups. You know- the plastic ones with fitted lids that come with kids meals in most restaurants? I looked at those cups and thought- FREE DISHES! Knowing the cups would be thrown away after we left, I decided that instead we’d take them home to use! If I kept the lids too and bought some straws to go along with them, we’d essentially have the poor man’s FREE SIPPY CUPS. I’d never have to buy a cup again!! Dang, I was smart. So we began to collect cups. From everywhere. Then we got filthy rich selling the cups online. The end.

NOT.

The Good thing? Those cups can be run through the dishwasher a dozen times before they die. And when they do die? Guess what… I know just where to get more.

Save Yourself from The “Free Dishes Prison”

But then (cue the sappy music), a few years ago I helped an overwhelmed friend clean out her kitchen. It was a tough, good job. And it was the most unrewarding cleaning experience I could imagine. Because even though we cleaned that kitchen with all our might, it never looked “clean”. The culprit was the amount of dishes, pots, pans, and plasticware that she was trying to cram into her teeny tiny apartment kitchen. Do you know- she had 57 cups for her family of 3? 84 of those cups were coffee mugs! And she didn’t even drink coffee. Not one of them could be stacked into another to save space. “Un-stackable.” That’s a swear word around here. Go say a prayer.

That was the day I drove straight to Target, made a beeline for the “non-descript white plastic dishes aisle” and bought as many stackable white cups as I could afford (a total of 4 or so), then drove home and dumped the contents of my entire dishes cabinet into the trash can.

Sorta.

I am exaggerating. But- there is a point…

What the flip is wrong with people? How many cups/mugs/bowls does one family need? And why on earth do half your cups look like this?

Just because Uncle Doug gave you a heart-shaped bowl for your 14th birthday doesn’t mean it has to live in your house today. Or ever!

Just because Fazoli’s has somewhat sturdy kids meal cups doesn’t mean you have to take them home and make them your babies!

Just because your set of FiestaWare (I want one!) comes with 8 plates, 8 bowls, 8 salad plates, 8 mugs, and 8 saucers DOES NOT mean you have to keep the mugs and saucers. Unless you are an avid, maniacal tea or coffee drinker. But in that case- how often are 8 people drinking tea on saucers at once at your house? Count it up. NEVER. (I actually don’t know– I don’t drink tea or have tea parties or have fun sipping stuff ever. Does this happen at your house? Then teach me.)

And by all means, PLEASE, when you decide to slowly make over your dishes cabinet (because this post has changed your life)- buy cups that will stack within each other. You should be able to store ALL of your family’s dishes in ONE cabinet. Mostly. I will allow for the use of a basket too. More on that later. Stack em’, ladies.

Open Kitchen Cabinets ARE Possible for Real Life Ladies

Let’s talk about people who are on the other side of crazy. Those people that have it SO together that their kitchens don’t even need upper cabinets.

Open kitchen cabinetry is sorta a hot trend in magazines and sorta IMPOSSIBLE for most people. I see images like this and go say, “never in my house could I pull off those open shelves and still store food in my house.”

can’t find the original source. please help?

But when we were remodeling/updating our kitchen in the Fall I removed the cabinet doors to paint them and realized that I didn’t want to put them back on the dishes cabinet. (I did however, paint them and store them in case the next owners of our house want them.) At that time I had mostly yellow and green dishes, mixed with some whites. When suddenly the color of my dishes mattered even when they weren’t on the table, I decided that green was OUT and blue was IN.  I boxed up the green dishes and dropped them off at the donation truck parked behind the thrift store. Then I went INTO the thrift store and perused their merchandise for blue and white dishes. I found some blue bowls and plates that I love. The next time I was at Wal-Mart I bought a set of white plates and some more Mason canning jars. We use them like cups. I love them. They love me. They double as food storage containers too.

I am still on the hunt for a few more mugs. We only have three actual mugs right now, so when we break out the hot chocolate people get mad. Real mad. And then they drink hot chocolate from canning jars and go on living normal lives.

The other cabinets in the kitchen still have doors. The doors hide the food. The food isn’t pretty and I refuse to re-package our cereals and pastas into fancy clear, labelled containers. I have my limits. For now?

The Devil is in the Rainbow?

A note about our kids’ dishes… These IKEA dishes are the devil (to me):

souce: http://iheartorganizing.blogspot.com/2010/02/february-featured-space-kitchen-kiddie.html

BUT WHY???? Because they are all different colors. One day I got sick of hearing, “I call the pink plate! I call the pink plate! HEY, I CALLED IT! I WANT IT! YOU ALWAYS GET IT! THIS ISN’T FAIR! I HATE MY LIFE!” and then I took the pink plate and tossed it in the garbage can (while no one was looking). I got rid of all the colored, happy, fun, envy-causing dishes in the kid’s basket. Then I replaced them with these:

I bought those plates at Target on clearance. They always have fun things on clearance. Check out the clearanced dishes next time, will ya? Buy 8 if the same exact plate and find a new level of peace.

Now, when my kids win fun dishes as raffle prizes (*actual event) I keep them around for a while. But then, slowly, they somehow disappear! It’s an unsolved mystery…

(Dear Sam, I know you read my blog sometimes. If you are reading this, you better hide your Ronald McDonald plates because I am coming after them the minute you turn your back, sister! Love you. Now go clean your room.)

A note to those of you who think I am a meanie mom… Bright colors do not equal happy kids. Happy moms equal happy kids. Research probably supports this.

Also- chores + laughter equals happy kids. Research probably supports this.

We keep the kids’ dishes where they can reach them here in the island:

Four years ago I realized that storing plastic kids dishes at their level was a real-life option and it blew my mind. Thank you Juliette for showing me your kids’ dishes drawer. I shall never forget you and your selfless service.

Water Bottles?

They go here:

And when the basket gets too full, I do a lid-to-bottle ratio analysis/assessment/algorithm and get rid of a couple bottles (the ones that leak and the ones without lids, probably. Research might support this.)

You guys are getting way too close of a look at my kitchen island, which I will be writing about very soon, so please avert your eyes.

Your Mission:

Now go on living decent lives! Free yourselves from the grips of free plastic cups, un-stackable dishes, and rainbow-colored mayhem. Enjoy lives un-choked by excessive amounts of coffee mugs and bowls with straws built in.

You can. You may. You WILL!

And now I am off to wipe noses.

This has been another instalment in our “In Angie’s Kitchen Series.” For more deets on my updated kitchen and how I run it, click here.

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